Lots of parents have multiple special needs kids. All of mine have had special needs, the usual alphabet soup. GB is FASD, with an IQ 2 standard deviations below average. She is also Bipolar I with psychotic features. We added the diagnosis of Autistic 18 months. I don’t actually think she is autistic. I think there is a lot of overlap between FASD and Autism and that the evaluators preferred to see Autism. There is more funding, at least in New York, for Autism then there for FASD. The NY educational system doesn’t have a clue what to do with FASD students, so having the Autism label gets us the right services, and we build her goals around her needs.
GB should have the most intensive needs of all my children. When she did, and we managed her world around her needs, she did well. She was doing so well, we thought we could add Hope. I knew it would be a rough adjustment. In the beginning, Hope was as difficult as I expected. Now, 21 months later, she is more difficult. After she is home from school, Hope tantrums at least 4 days a week. GB fends for herself, using the coping mechanisms she has been taught. I do not know how to meet Hope’s needs at this point, but I know exactly what GB needs. I just don’t have time to meet them. I am too busy trying to contain Hope. This morning I am tapping myself to Lisa’s Trauma Mama Text.
The shrink said yesterday that when Hope is hospitalized, the extreme stress on GB will go away and she will go back to being my normal GB. I doubt it is that easy and I would prefer not to hospitalize Hope at this point. So, back to surviving day 3.
Adopting Special Needs 