Mother’s Day-The Reality

Mother’s Day, as it exists now, in this country, is a commercial success for Hallmark. It wasn’t always that way. During the 1600’s, the early Christians in England celebrated a day to honor Mary, the mother of Christ. By a religious order the holiday was later expanded in its scope to include all mothers, and named as the Mothering Sunday. Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter), “Mothering Day” was celebrated honoring all mothers of England. Since many of  England’s poor worked as servants for the wealthy,  jobs were located far from their homes and the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday, the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers.

In 1914, President Woodrow adopted a resolution that the second Sunday in May was to be set aside to honor mother’s. It took less then nine years for Americans to commercialize Mother’s Day.

In our family, Mother’s Day always involves a mix of emotions. The little ones plan and plot surprises. I still struggle with the loss of my mom, even though four years have gone by. The Dad’s Mom has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t remember anything. GB has been angry at her Birth Mother for several years now and does not, even in her own mind, consider BM as Mom. Hope gets angry, I think, because in her mind, she doesn’t have a mom. MK is proud to be a mom, but has never resolved her feelings about her birth mother, prenatal alcohol damage, and being given up. I am her Mom, but in her mind, the worst mom in the world. J always finds Mother’s Day a source of guilt- for expectations he had for himself and didn’t meet.

With all these emotions swirling around, Mother’s Day is tiring, sometime exhausting. I try to take several minutes to myself to be grateful for the mother I had for 50 years, for the birth mothers of my children who chose life when they didn’t have to, for the children God gave me to love and end with a prayer that my children will find peace with who they are. Then I join in whatever celebration my children decide they want this year. And maybe, we get a little closer to acceptance.

Happy Mother’s Day to the Mothers Who Make My Day

My Mom  1937- 2008
Three Moms get me through my day. Since they share little in common, I wrote three separate thank-yous. 

Dear Mom,

It is my third Mother’s Day without you. I still miss you many times during the day, but now it usually with a smile. The physical stuff is scary, but I remember the pure cussedness you used to fight through it and am grateful God chose to pass that particular trait down to me. You would be proud of how hard J and MK are working to grow up and meet their responsibilities. Your little one is now 8. GB is growing up to be a beautiful and special young lady. I know that you are resting easy now that her adoption is finalized. Her joy is a breathe of fresh air.
I know how much you had to struggle through and I appreciate that you did what you had to do and never gave us less then your best. Remember the last planting we did? Every time my eyes stop on the many mounds of yellow daylillys, I thank God for the many years I had your love before He called  you home.



Dear Soul Sisters,

Happy Mother’s Day to you all. This is one of the hardest days of the year for many of us, but I wanted to tell you all how much your love, friendship, and support has meant to me. You are awesome women, gifted mothers and most important, the most magnificent people God put on this Earth.

love and hugs,


Dear MK,

Happy First Mother’s Day! This year everything is different and will never be the same again.  You have a new life that is 100% dependent on you and you will never be the same. It is really hard to be the only thing your child can always depend on. It is also a blessing. All your life, you have felt the lack of your biological family. Malachi has changed that by his very existence. The things you wished your biological mother had done for you, you are now doing for him. Malachi is a gift from God  and I have a home with us as long as you want one. I am proud of the way you stuck school out, even though it was difficult. You are a strong person and Malachi will be strong also. You will be able to make the decisions that are best for Malachi because you are his mother. Sometimes I worry about you making good decisions, but that is when I look at the past. When I look at your future and realize how much you love this baby, I know that you will fiercely protect this child.

Happy Mother’s Day to my strong daughter! I love you.