GB was scheduled to be in school for two hours today- 8:15 to 10:15. I chose to keep her home and talk about how difficult everything has been for her lately. She reminded me that she could now do a cartwheel AND a handstand on the balance beam and that she thought she was going to make gymnastic her life. I agreed that her hard work in gymnastics was paying off and she was getting better at it all the time.
She was quiet for a bit. She told me she works very hard in school and she was not getting better at it. The Dad told her that it was very hard for her because the program had changed. It was no longer the best program for her. Then The Dad told GB her new teacher wore high heels. GB immediately brightened up and said “That’s awesome”.
We went to GB’s CSE today. I showed up with my printed agendas, not knowing what I wanted. The people around the table read my agenda and unanimously agreed with everything on it. It seems that the state changed the requirements and what GB’s class is doing is driven by state requirements and totally unrelated to what they did the two good years she had in the class. The bottom line is GB’s IQ of 71. They want to move her out of the academic track into a life skills class- for kids who will not be able to earn a diploma. We agreed on a 30 day trial to start January 2, 2013. GB will transition over the next three weeks. She will change to a third school. change teachers and aides and all service providers.
I am sad, close to tears and over the top angry. GB has to make yet another transition, my baby is being labeled mentally handicapped, and it is all because her birthmother couldn’t be bothered to deal with life without alcohol.
I wrote about our attempt to treat GB’s primary enuresis by chiropractor in https://adoptingspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/did-you-know/ . We are down to visiting the chiropractor once a week. GB has had four dry nights in a row. I knew that leaking through the pull-ups had been bothering her. I hadn’t realized how much it was bothering her until she asked me this morning when she could stop wearing the pull-ups.
After thinking about it, I told GB she could stop wearing pull-ups whenever she wants. I am sure she is making progress and her happiness and confidence is just glowing. I am delighted I gave a new (to me) idea a chance and it worked out so well.
Thursday afternoon, I received the following email from the Director of Special Education.
GBsMom~ It was brought to my attention after yesterday’s CSE program review for GB that you may have been audio recording with your phone. This is not a problem. I just ask that you let me know in the future so that I can also have the appropriate tools available to also do an audio recording. If this was not the case, I hope you understand that a member of the team was only concerned that we were not being given the same opportunity.
I wasn’t recording anything. GB’s CSE was quick and pleasant. Everybody who spoke added to the overall atmosphere of “Gee, isn’t great how well GB is doing”. The only one who didn’t was the school psychologist. He didn’t say anything at all. After emailing the Director of Special Education that I had not and was curious as to who came up with such a paranoid idea, she sent me this email:
GBsMom~Thanks for getting back to me on this issue. I was so glad to hear how well GB is doing this year!
Director of Special Education
I am sitting here shaking my head. There are “issues” even when CSE meeting are uneventful. Such is life.
GB is FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). FASD is a developmental disability and there are many skills that GB hasn’t developed yet. One was the ability to stay dry at night. She wears pull-ups and since it never bothered her, it never hit the radar screen. A couple of months ago, Hope started telling GB’s friends that she wet the bed. By the end of the summer, it was bothering GB and had become an issue. It made the radar screen.
My sister has an autistic son. When he was seventeen, he was still wetting the bed. She heard from a friend that a chiropractor could help. She took him to see a chiropractor. After a couple of months, it was no longer an issue.
GB has seen a chiropractor 2x a week for the past three weeks. She is now dry in the morning more than 60% of the time. We go down to once a week next week. The chiropractor estimates that within two months, bed wetting will not be one of GB’s issues.
I never consider using a chiropractor to treat a child and I certainly never considered that it might help bed wetting. But it seems to be working. I put this out there for those parents who’s child suffers from primary enuresis. Maybe it will work for your child, too.
Today is World FASD Awareness Day. My granddaughter/ adopted daughter has FAS. She is loving, joyful, and the hardest worker I know. It is so difficult to watch her struggle and know the brain damage that causes her struggles was 100% preventable. Her birth mother choose to binge drink throughout her pregnancy. GB and I went out to lunch today and talked about World FASD Awareness Day. We talked about the woman we know who are pregnant. She asked if she could write in my blog and post on Face Book. This is what she wanted to say:
Please all pregnant mothers: take care of your unborn babies. Don’t drink alcohol. Don’t smoke. Eat healthy food. I wish my birth mother had.
GB is awesome despite the struggles prenatal alcohol exposure caused. I hope, someday, FASD is a thing of the past.
Hope’s massive team meeting, set up by ICM will take place tomorrow, sans outside therapist. I have no expectations of actually getting help from this meeting, so there is no energy going into it.
I am concerned about GB. She came home with mixed feelings about spending time with her birth father. J was very unpredictable relating to her and did not do well with X. GB and X unabashedly enjoyed the time they spent together and were not happy to part.
Since we have been home, GB has requested extra cuddle time and several times has fallen asleep in my arms. She seems much more sensitive to Hope’s nasty remarks, which Hope tries to save for when no one is listening. I know GB needs more support and I am at a loss as how to provide it. There are many supports available for children with autism, but my gut feel is that the processing difficulties from the FASD is behind most of GB’s current struggles. Support for FASD is non-existent in my area.
I also have to admit I am not keen on leaving her for the Parenting in Space weekend in less then two weeks.
GB’s needs get lost in the chaos RAD brings to our lives.