Almost a year ago, Pearls of Price posted a 14 day challenge. The challenge was to go 14 consecutive days without saying anything that was negative to my children. I never made it past Day 4 without having to start over. In recognition of how far off the mark I was last year, I have modified the challenge. I am only looking for 7 consecutive days of positive or at least neutral comments.
I know focusing on this will benefit GB and me. Ii can’t hurt Hope. Most of Hope’s negative interactions, at this point, are with the Dad. Since he is acting as her primary parent at this point, I will have more opportunities to hunt for the positive. Look for my first update tomorrow.
The Director of Education called at eight o’clock this morning to cancel Hope’s Annual Review this morning. All of her classmates did have their Annual Review today, so the class has a substitute. Hope managed to land on the bottom of the behavior ladder. I knew homework with Hope would be a wash tonight and it was. MK and I were cleaning up the kitchen when the girl’s bus pulled in.
Unexpectedly, GB came off the bus in tears.She had extra homework tonight because she had counseling today and missed part of math. This doesn’t usually phase GB, but today it did. She cried for almost an hour. I let her try to soothe herself. She couldn’t. I cuddled and rocked her and even sang to her and she finally was able to regulate and do her homework. During this period of time, Hope said she needed to use the bathroom and I let her use the downstairs bathroom by herself UNSUPERVISED.
She wasn’t out of sight long enough for my internal alarm bells to go off, but I was focused on GB. After GB was regulated and her homework was done, I went to finish the kitchen. The downstairs bathroom is right off the kitchen. Hope had sprayed non-toxic cleaner all over the kitchen. She took the spices MK had out to use for dinner and added them to the animal’s water. I honestly do not know what else she got into, because when questioned, Hope denied getting into anything. She started her “poor me” game and I felt the anger rising inside me. I acknowledged that anger. I put her to bed. It was six o’clock.
The Dad undid the damage in the kitchen, and thankfully did not share the details with me. Tomorrow is Therapy Tuesday. Sigh.
GB received cookbooks from a number of people this Christmas. Each was different and each was met with excitement. GB has used her new cookbooks a couple of times, but today was different. Today, she wanted to do it by herself. She picked out the recipe, made a shopping list, and went shopping with The Dad. She read the directions, did the measuring (I double checked), and made the cakes herself. I insisted on putting the cakes in and out of the oven, but that is the only help she had. She even took these pictures herself. Today, GB is one proud and independent baker!
She even helped clean up with a smile 🙂
Hope and GB played nicely for over an hour and a half this morning. I enjoyed admiring their art work and listening to them talk to each other about what they were doing. I told them to clean up for lunch and watched Hope switch to her “I am going to make you miserable” face. I praised her for the good morning she had. Hope escalated while we were eating lunch. Just as she finished her first helping she kicked me. I calmly took her to the mat. She is on it and raging, after first going a couple of rounds with The Dad. The Dad and GB went to WallyWorld to get baking supplies and a laundry basket, MK and Mali are napping, and I am reading blogs, checking FB, and doing email. Nobody is waiting for Hope to stop. A fire and a glass of wine sound really good. The fireplace is right here and I am going to turn it on.
This morning the alarm went off, we were awake, and decided not to get up. GB joined us first. The three of us stayed in bed and cuddled and talked. GB worried about the bus, but the Dad told her not to worry, he would drive them. Hope joined us. We spent some more time in bed, cuddling and talking. When we finally felt like it, we got up and got ready for our days. The girls collected their book bags. GB took care of Ellie. We all went out to breakfast, and enjoyed more leisurely conversation. When everybody was ready, we dropped the girls at school.
Tonight, after Therapy Tuesday (UGH), we will leave to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. There is much to be thankful for.
The Dad went out to dinner with friends tonight. He fed the girls and got them in pajamas first. The Dad definitely needed the socializing more than I did. The girls watched a fairy movie on Disney and there were only a few flare-ups. When the movie was over, I gave then their meds and said bed time. Hope flipped. She was not tired, she was not going to bed with out her father and I couldn’t make her. I said “bed” and she started screaming and hitting.I forced a PRN into her and set her down. She screamed, cried, and threatened me for 45 minutes. As the PRN started working, there were pauses between her outbursts. When we had 3 minutes of silence, I quietly told her to go to bed. She did. I got through this evening by staying in the moment.
She is asleep and I am angry. I am so tired of being abused by a six year old- traumatized or not. Tomorrow is a new day. I am taking the morning to myself. Hopefully, that will be enough for a fresh start. I am not Christine. Now I need to try to sleep.