Difficult Week



This has been one of those all consuming weeks.

  • Hope’s teacher wrote home, inquiring if, perhaps, Hope had missed her meds. (She hadn’t) She isn’t raging, but her temper tantrums are still epic, and she is still not safe.
  • GB switched therapists, as planned. She said goodbye to the therapist in the Little City that she shared with Hope. She started with her new therapist. The goal is that GB be able to express her needs verbally in “I” statements. She did much better than I expected.
  • GB and MK had a session together with the family dynamics therapist. I haven’t seen any changes in their interactions.
  • Malachi is still struggling. I enlisted the help of his other grandfather to get Booboo to agree to two days a week in a therapeutic preschool. I do not know yet how successful that was.
  • The Dad realized this week that on his retirement income we can’t afford to live in our current house; at least not while subsidizing J and MK. Duh.
  • We have been consciously cutting costs. We had already started our Food Diet- buying only food in it’s natural state, which helps not only our bodies, but our grocery bills.
  • The Dad started talking to MK about how we would be able to help her, now that we have much less money to live on. She flipped out. She has calmed down, but isn’t ready to explore her options. The Dad is confident MK will be cooperative.
  • I am busy with my new virtual filing cabinet. I finally have it usable and have started filing both girls school records in it. A paper free life sounds delicious!
  • Our rescheduled appointment with Hope’s new therapist is Monday. Unfortunately, it conflicts with my appointment with the neurologist. The neurologist needs to be rescheduled.
  • Hope is saying goodbye to the therapist in the Little City this morning. She is unhappy about having to change.
  • As I am switching to a paper free life, I realize there is a lot of other stuff clutter we do not need. Minimalists may be on to something!

Welcome, 2013

Exactly one  year ago, I wrote this post, https://adoptingspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2012/01/page/3/ . My word for 2012 was going to be “moment“, as staying in the moment. Looking back, I would have to say I failed more often then I succeeded. There was a a 3 month period over the summer where I was unable to start fresh each moment. Getting physically beat up can do that to a person.

The last couple of months The Dad has been Hope’s primary caregiver. Yesterday, Hope raged and got him with a head butt in the face. It looked painful. She kicked me, but it didn’t catch me by surprise, as she had already kicked The Dad’s brother.

Hope is on medication, which she wasn’t on this time last year. Her raging is a little less in terms of frequency and intensity- but not much. This year provided very little healing for Hope.

We have a new configuration of therapists lined up. If you are interested you can read it on the other blog.

I am looking at 2013 as a fresh start, but I decided to use the word “moment” again. I do not want to repeat all of 2012’s mistakes again this year. I still think an RTF is Hope’s best shot, but I am willing to try a new approach. For Hope’s sake, for my families sake, I pray for healing.

Help for GB

GB had her last appointment with the new psychiatrist last night. The Dad and I meet with the new shrink on Monday, without GB, to makes medication changes.

Medication changes are not the only thing that was done to help GB. The shrink spent 45 minutes with GB and unlike the play therapist, listened to what GB was saying. When the Dad joined them. the shrink asked GB to share with her Dad what she had shared with the shrink. GB refused. The shrink told the Dad that the top priorities are 1) getting GB stable on medication and 2) the effect of Hope. The shrink said we will talk about it Monday. I will be there.

After the appointment was done, the Dad took GB to the Olive Garden, her favorite place to eat. They had a long, leisurely dinner, and GB had her Dad’s undivided attention. She came home more regulated than I have seen her in weeks. It took less than 45 minutes to settle her down last night and she woke up in a reasonable space, even with a two hour snow delay.

Hope, on the other hand, gave MK a ride for her money… tears, screaming, arms crossed; and neither GB nor I were involved  🙂

We can do ANYTHING until Monday.

Being a Family of Four


This weekend, The Dad, the girls, and I went for an overnight at the water park. Just us- our sub-family of

four. The park was empty and the rooms were cheap (Thank you, Super Bowl Sunday). GB always relaxes in water. Hope has never seen anything like it. Last night she told me there was no fun in Texas. She thought a minute and added maybe New York just kept all the fun to its self. We went with the sole purpose of keeping the trip low key and enjoyable. Two of us, two girls- neither girl had to do any activity they didn’t want to. Hope had a couple of rough hours this morning. She woke up growling, and was not cooperative with either of us. The Dad and I focused on GB and let Hope and her ‘tude to themselves. After  a couple of hours, Hope came to me, with her ‘tude, and announced I didn’t like her. I told her I liked her fine, it was the attitude I was not dealing with. Several minutes later, Hope came back, apologized, and showed me her improved attitude. It lasted until we got home. Hope’s attitude came back before gymnastics, but keeping her out of the start of the class reset her attitude. GB had the best gymnastic class of the year. GB lasted to bedtime, but needed some help settling in. All around, it worked out well. It may become a new family tradition.

Hope tries something new without a meltdown
Scooby Snacks

GB and her Dad

No Snow or Ice Today!

There is NO snow or ice today and there is not suppose to be tomorrow! Saturday is suppose to be more snow and ice, but I am not going there yet. All of these snow days have taught me a couple of things. First, the girls need scheduled breaks away from each other. Second, I thought I did a good job organizing the house for the girls. NOT! There is still way too much for them to play with, and since I am spending the morning in with the plumber (Yeah! The kids will have their toilet back, I will have my garbage disposal back and the house will be temporarily leak free), I am going on a purging binge. Four weeks to Orlando, less then five to surgery. I HAVE to purge or I can’t imagine the mess that will be here after I am up and around again. The Dad keeps on top of them to clean up, but they are sneaky little buggers- they have hidey holes and out of the way corners that they can just pile stuff without having to actually think about where stuff goes. And the room looks SO much better…

The girls didn’t want to go back to school today. I sidetracked GB by telling her she could go outside after school and climb the snow mountains. As for Hope, well, my Texas girl was excited the first 4 or 5 times she saw snow and went out in it. Now she is done with it. She doesn’t like snow clothes, she doesn’t like the cold and she definitely doesn’t like cold hands. Nobody has been able to convince her that if she kept her gloves on, her hands wouldn’t be wet or cold. 

Snow Mountains Await!