From Hope’s Point of View

The last five weeks with Hope have not varied much and you are probably as tired of reading it as I am of writing it. I decided to do something different today. I tried to write today’s update from Hope’s perspective.

Today was not a good day. When I woke up, Daddy was already gone and GB was cuddling Mommy. I do not like GB, so I didn’t get cuddled. We got dressed for the pool. GB wore the beautiful purple suit with the skirt and butterflies. I had to wear my red and white polka dots because I do not want to match GB and my mean mother wouldn’t make GB change. GB always gets dressed first, so I never get to wear what I want. It is not fair- everybody likes GB better.

Mommy made me oatmeal, but we were out of the milk I like and she used organic milk- yucky! We put on our cover-ups- GB’s is a pretty pink, while mine is plain purple. We packed the bag. GB always gets the tie-dye towel. Mine has butterflies, but I don’t like them anymore.

We got in the car. I have to sit in a car seat. GB doesn’t, cause Mommy likes her better. We met Grandma at the pool. GB got to hug her first because Mommy put the lock back on my door. She is SO mean. I like the pool. Grandma tried to carry me out to the deep end, but I can’t swim, so I wouldn’t go. GB swam out to the deep part and played with Grandma. Mommy made me practice floating. I am good at floating, but then I was afraid Mommy would make me try to swim, so I screamed until she took me back to where I could stand.

GB was playing with another girl. I didn’t like their rules, so I told them they had to play with mine. I got mad when they wouldn’t and Mommy made me sit out. EVERYBODY likes GB better. When I was back in the pool, I played with diving sticks. It is boring to play with diving sticks by myself. I threw one out to Grandma. She got it and brought it to me and told me not to throw it where I can’t get it. I threw it right back in the same spot. Grandma carried me out and made ME get it, even though I was scared and Mommy didn’t help. I kept throwing the stick out, Grandma kept making me get it and I kept waiting for Mommy to help. Mommy told me if I did it again I was done swimming. I was mad that Mommy wouldn’t tell Grandma to stop, so I threw the stick as far as I could. Mommy didn’t even let me get it! She took me right out of the pool. Then I had to watch GB get MY stick. I hate GB. GB is a better swimmer.

After a really long time, Mommy said I could have one last swim before we went to lunch. I tried to take my diving stick in with me, but Mommy wouldn’t let me. Mommy likes GB better. When it was time to get out, Mommy sent GB to get dressed first. GB always goes first. When GB came back, Mommy took me to get changed and left GB with Grandma. I told Mommy that I could get changed by myself. She got changed behind one curtain and left me and my clothes behind another curtain. I didn’t like the curtain. I went to find a room without a curtain. I hadn’t gotten very far when Mommy called me back. She is always telling me what to do. I hate that. I kept looking for a room. I got lost and scared and started crying. Mommy was there and already dressed and carried me back to the curtained room. I wouldn’t get dressed and Mommy started to dress me. I kept telling her not to touch me, but she wouldn’t listen. I got very, very loud so everybody could hear me, but Mommy didn’t stop until I was dressed.

We went out to lunch. Mommy made me go with her, but GB got to ride with Grandma. I had to sit next to Mommy and Mommy got up with me every time I wanted to get something. Grandma sat with GB. I hate Mommy and GB. I tried to kick GB under the table, but I missed and kicked Grandma. I tried to tell them it was an accident, but Mommy pulled my chair away from the table. That’s so unfair!

We went home and I told Mommy I had nothing to do. Mommy’s suggestions were stupid and I told her so. She made me stay right next to her for the rest of the afternoon- just because she had stupid ideas. MK bought me crayons and paper and that isn’t what I wanted to do. I told MK she was stupid. She took them back. I stuck my tongue at her. Even MK likes GB better. 

I told Mommy how stupid she was and she made me sit on my mat. When I got off,  she put me back and that hurt my feelings. I hit her. She held me tight and said I couldn’t hit. I HATE being held tight. I kicked and screamed and she wouldn’t let go. I hate stupid Mommies. I screamed for a long time, but then my throat hurt. Daddy came home for dinner. I ate right next to him. I didn’t like what MK made for dinner. MK never makes something that I like for dinner. Mommy gave me medicine and watched me put my pajamas on and told me I had to wait for Daddy in bed. What a stupid day. I never get to do anything!

Wanted: Mojo or Therapeutic Big Girl Panties

You ever loose your mojo? The Dad is away, NYS NCLB testing started last week and continues this week, GB starts shaking at the idea of riding the bus, and the baby has 103 temp. So of course, being the experienced therapeutic parent, I cancelled everything and we had a quiet afternoon at home. NOT.

When I picked up the girls, I also picked up a friend from GB’s class that had also been testing for 2 weeks and is autistic. GB’s friend was close to overwhelmed with anxiety before we got in the van. During our 5 minute ride home he told me dozens of times how stressful riding in the van was. Once we were home, the kids had snacks and he and GB went out on the trampoline. They came back in, noticeably shaken. They had been on the trampoline for maybe two minutes. No, I wasn’t out there supervising. I was in the kitchen trying to help Hope cope with a melt down because her Daddy wasn’t home (He is never home when they get home from school). The friend wanted to go home. He said my house was too messy. He was right, but I wasn’t going to do anything about it at the point. I tried to building with them using the architectural blocks. I tried the Wii. I even tried ice pops. Finally I gave up, called his mother and met her at the local park. GB and her friend played well for thirty minutes and we ended the play date on a good note.

On the way home, GB tells me her friend kissed her on the lips while jumping on the trampoline. She said after that, neither of them wanted to play anymore. I am a play date failure. We will not try another play date until I find my mojo, or at least, my therapeutic big girl panties.