Sometimes, You Have to Laugh

As Hope raging has slowed down, we have noticed she has a much broader repertoire  of attention getting behaviors.

Hope came home from school Tuesday limping. She said she hurt her foot in gym. The Dad took her to the Urgent Care and had her checked out. Nothing was bruised or swollen, but the doctor wrapped her ankle and The Dad carried her home. She was given the princess treatment that night and the next morning. The Dad even drove her to school and carried her to her classroom.

Very Young Teacher sent an email yesterday.

Today we realized something interesting… when Hope hurt her foot on Tuesday, it was her right foot.  She went home limping on her right foot.  Then on Wednesday when she came to school her left foot was wrapped up.  Today she has walked fine around the classroom all day.  Once I told her to go to nurse Sherri for meds she limped out of the classroom.  I spoke to her about how on Tues she hurt her right foot and now its her left foot… she tried to explain how they both hurt and then was walked on her toes on both feet…. I just wanted to give you the heads up.

After we stopped laughing, I realized I really couldn’t call Hope’s teacher Very Young Teacher any more. After having Hope for three years, she doesn’t fall for much anymore. I will have to come up with a new blog name for her.

Where I Am

I have been AWOL for a while. Part of the reason I have been AWOL is the busyness of the last few months. So, here are a few quick updates.

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HOPE

Hope is no longer receiving waiver services. The program is undoubtedly good for families inexperienced at doing their own case management. For us, the program took a lot of our time in meetings and the people involved  never really connected with Hope. Hope started with a new therapist in January and a new psychiatrist last month. She has a strong connection with the therapist and open mind with the psychiatrist. They are both within 20 minutes of the house which makes the logistics easier.

The physicality of life with Hope is still there. It is less frequent and less intense. We still use respite, but on a schedule that meets our needs. As Hope has somewhat  stabilized at home, the school saw more of her behaviors. This makes it easier to deal with the school. Hope is starting to want a connection with me. This is not easy, given the history between us, but we are working on it. Hope’s Annual Review with the CSE is tomorrow. I am sure one of the district’s main concerns will be Hope’s homework, or actually, the lack of completed assignments. Hope has done 12 out of the last 49 days’ assignments. I do not deal with Hope’s homework. I very clearly told them in September that homework should not be assigned. At that September meeting, The Dad said he would handle Hope’s homework. The CSE should be interesting.

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GB

GB is currently struggling. We had to change her medication because of increasing tics and weight gain. Changing medications is never easy. We are slowly increasing the new drug, Latuda, and decreasing the loxopine.

GB is just developing the capacity to understand what a birth parent is. She has spent a lot of time with Joel and Xsavier, trying to make sense of the relationships that were just words before our last visit to Michigan. It is pure pleasure to watch GB and Xsavier together. It is harder to watch my son Joel with GB. Joel is just realizing what he lost when he walked out on her. GB very much wants a relationship with him, but he will never be her “Daddy”.

The class she started in January is a good fit socially, but has too many students and not enough academics for her. We had GB’s annual review and ended up tabling it until June. There are no appropriate placements for her. I am seriously considering homeschooling her next year.

GB is still struggling with Hope’s lack of boundaries. Hope is into everybody’s stuff and steals regularly. GB has a harder time coping with this issue than the rest of us.. GB still hasn’t made peace with the fact Hope is forever. She is seeing a therapist that she likes a lot and I am hopeful she can make her peace with it.

I am struggling myself. The ramifications of the choices made to meet Hope’s needs are still catching me by surprise. I had no part in the life altering decisions The Dad made. I do not know if our relationship will survive. In an effort to get support for him, I shared my closest friendships. In some cases, I am now the one left out. Things he has said in anger, quoting other people, have made it difficult for me to trust anyone.  I pretty much keep to myself at this point.

Orlando was wonderful again this year. I am so glad I was able to go and be refueled. The people who started ETAAM are in different phases of their life and are moving on. I will miss them. There are some outstanding people taking over, but inevitably BeTa will not be ETAAM. Everything changes. I doubt I will be in Orlando next year.

I appreciate the people who kept me in their thoughts while I was trying to make sense of my life in the last few months. I am a blessed person.