We had a two hour snow delay the other morning and GB came in to cuddle and talk while Hope was still asleep. We talked about adoption, school, and, rather wistfully, about how life was different since Hope came. Later that day, The Dad complained that he needed 3 or 4 uninterrupted hours for paperwork. This morning, MK and I decided to give it a try. We took both girls and my grandson out and spent a day like we would have, before Hope.
We stopped at a pool store. We bought goggles, a swim sweater (for Mali), and 2 ft rings that hang out under water so you can swim through them. Next stop was the local indoor pool. I focused my attention on GB and we enjoyed ourselves. Hope took Mali’s bucket and poured water on my clothes. I briefly interrupted what I was doing, took the bucket and sat Hope down. She had several other chances, but immediately went for the negative attention. MK and I both refused to engage and the other two kids had a great time.
After swimming, I surprised MK and GB by taking them to a local bakery for lunch. Normally, I consider it and then don’t, because Hope always makes a scene and Friendly*s has a better set up for out of control kids. GB remembers having lunch at this place with my mom and was thrilled to be having lunch there. We focused on enjoying each others company and ignored Hope’s antics most of the time. She ate her shirt, dropped her food on the floor, one piece at a time. When there was no more waffle left, Hope asked me to get her more to eat. I briefly told her “No, if you were hungry the food wouldn’t have ended up on the floor”.
We had dessert because that is the best part of eating in a bakery. Hope and GB both picked Big Bird cupcakes. GB enjoyed every bit of her dessert. Hope played with hers and soon had yellow frosting up her nose, all over her face, and down her shirt. I ignored her until we were ready to go, then cleaned her as best I could with baby wipes.
We stopped at the food store before we went home. I held Hope’s hand and kept it under 14 items because I was starting to struggle with my *no response* to Hope’s poking.
When we got home, GB was happy and cuddly, and enjoyed telling The Dad all about it. The Dad took Hope upstairs to help her put away her laundry. That lasted less then 10 minutes and Hope was sitting again.
It was tiring, but the feeling of having a great day together, in spite of Hope’s sabotage, was worth it. Even if it meant going to lunch in wet clothes.