Grateful

I was spitting tacks when we left for my sister’s last night. The Dad insisted on taking the Prius because the saving in gas is significant. I couldn’t imagine any amount of money worth traveling with Hope in the Prius on a ten or eleven hour ride. My fears were valid. Hope nutted up and The Dad spoke softly and called her his “baby”, while growling at GB to leave her sister alone. I should have just stayed home. My frame of mind was the pits at that point and I couldn’t find the peaceful spot inside that my therapist and I have been working on. So I switched my focus to keeping my mouth shut.  I was successful. I figured I wouldn’t say another word until we were at Lynn’s house.

I was startled by a huge bump and the strangest sounds coming from the car. Three in the morning, three hours from Lynn’s, we hit a deer. The Dad couldn’t open his door and a tremendous amount of steam rose from the engine. GB and Hope woke up, but,  thankfully, no one was hurt. Hope was snarly, which is how she always wakes up. Fortunately, while she raged earlier, she didn’t lose it then. We waited a half hour for a Virginia State Trooper and another half hour for a tow truck. By 4:15 we were in a hotel room.

This room has a complete, full size, set of stainless steel appliances, including a garbage disposal, and granite counter tops. The bedroom is completely separate. There is a kitchen table, a couch, a desk and an easy chair.

This morning we woke up to find we didn’t have comprehensive on the Prius and would have to pay cash to solve this problem. Not great, especially since, the Dad just took a half time leave, and our living money was cut in half.

I am grateful because:

  • Ten years ago, The Dad would have lost it completely. He stayed intact and dealt.
  • GB has always been a good car rider and trusts us completely. Telling her everything was going to be ok and her believing us was big last night.
  • Hope was Hope, but when we hit the deer, she didn’t rage, she just got snarly.
  • God has always met our needs and I trust that he will this time.
  • We will get to my sister’s by Thanksgiving, even if it is not on my schedule.

Most of all, we are all safe and together. Everything else pales beside this.

Wishing you all a Blessed Thanksgiving!

Sometimes, It Is the Little Things

With two CSE meetings and therapy, I wasn’t expecting much from today. While waiting with GB for the bus this morning, I noticed a blue sky, with sunshine and light cotton candy clouds. The air was cool, but not cold. The silence before Hope and Joe came down was soothing.

Hope’s CSE didn’t go very well. I let The Dad run it and only contributed data on medication. Mary Poppins was there and the SPOA worker was there. Mary Poppins started her unicorns and rainbow crap and I worked on my breathing. I looked up and Mrs VY Teacher caught my eye and mouthed “Hope has her number”. None of what I wanted was approved, but I knew before the meeting that it wouldn’t happen unless I got involved. I didn’t.

GB’s CSE meeting was 30 minutes later and five miles away. It was a different world. I did not let Mary Poppins come and when the chairperson looked at Joe and I and asked who was running this meeting, I said I was. GB is doing well. They approved 45 minutes a day with the reading specialist, the OT had a sensory diet all set up. GB had shared with all of them how difficult it was living with Hope and the therapist suggested adding another weekly counseling session to her program. Homework was straightened out, as were testing modifications. GB is doing well and everybody was delighted.

I went to EMDR right after GB’s meeting.  It wasn’t fun, but it seemed to go quickly. MK wanted to start Halloween early. I went to the dollar store with her to add a little to our decorations and GB helped MK put them up. Hope and Mali helped MK make our first Halloween  dessert of the year. The Dad took GB to gymnastics and the open house at her school tonight.

The sun is setting and everything is quiet. It is still warm enough to sit on the deck with a cup of hot tea. Sometimes it is the little things.

Mended

I am at the Orlando Airport, waiting for my flight home. Some of the most loving people I have ever met are taking a piece of my heart with them today as our weekend had to end. I am at peace. These are women I can trust and know they will handle the pieces I shared with them gently until I see them again. Thank you all.

We Started Thanksgiving Early

This morning the alarm went off, we were awake, and decided not to get up. GB joined us first. The three of us stayed in bed and cuddled and talked. GB worried about the bus, but the Dad told her not to worry, he would drive them. Hope joined us. We spent some more time in bed, cuddling and talking. When we finally felt like it, we got up and got ready for our days. The girls collected their book bags. GB took care of Ellie. We all went out to breakfast, and enjoyed more leisurely conversation. When everybody was ready, we dropped the girls at school.


Tonight, after Therapy Tuesday (UGH), we will leave to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. There is much to be thankful for.

Medication Update

GB is finally completely off Invega. In two weeks we will repeat her blood work, and, hopefully, her Prolactin level will be down. Today is the first day on the full dose of loxapine. I asked her teacher for feedback on the last couple of weeks of school. This is what I received:

Dear GB’s Mom,

 We have noticed that GB is much more motivated and pleasant. She is engaged in her work and participates gladly in all activities. It has been a very pleasant and positive change.

GB  practices Tai Chi

  Sincerely,

    Mr.Teacher

Today I am grateful for medications that work and the professionals that help me find them.

Gratitude

Despite some current difficulties, I have many things to be grateful for.

* The Dad is back from Michigan. His report: J looks good and outside of school, X is doing well.

* We are having car problems, but we have the fiscal resources to solve them. Annoying yes, but it could be worse.

* GB is manic at the moment, but her psychiatrist answered my email in less than thirty minutes.

* Things aren’t going well with the “outlaws” (Booboo’s family), but MK is getting more reasonable and showing maturity in dealing with the situation.

* My grandson has started bringing me books, saying “read” and climbing into my lap.

* It is cold outside, but warm inside.

* When I look at the hard stuff, I can say “This, too, will pass” and believe it.

* I am never alone.

Worth Sharing

Hope drove me crazy yesterday. She sneaked outside with out permission, fed the dog bubble solution, lost her homework, hit the dog, and stood in the hallway screaming because she had nothing to do. There was more, but that is not important. What I wanted to share was that as I kissed Hope goodnight, I realized that I didn’t have a headache, my blood pressure wasn’t changing wildly, and I didn’t have to force myself to go through my Mommy motions. Hope didn’t have a good day and I was okay. That is worth sharing.