Bipolar is back. Not that it was ever really gone, but the Invega controlled the bipolar so well, the bipolar rarely made the radar screen. GB has only one volume at the moment- loudest. The pressured speech makes it hard to understand what she is trying to say. She is only completing one thought in four. The rest gets lost in the whirlwind of mania. She has no attention span. My biggest dread is that as the mania cycles higher and higher, she is more likely to experience psychotic breaks. Please pray for her… she doesn’t understand what is happening and is scared.
GB is on her third night of no Zyprexa, just Geodon. GB’s Dad sees no differences, but can’t stand her inability to sit still, the constant pressured speech, or her manic laughing- all of which have gotten worse over the past two days. If there weren’t so many commitments here, I would take GB to either Myrtle Beach or my sister’s in Raleigh and keep her there until our appointment with the new shrink on March 1st. Since that is not feasible, I will have to keep her close to me.
Tonight she was in tears as she asked me why Daddy and MK like Hope better. I hope there is at least some relief as the Geodon builds up in her system.
Yesterday is gone.
I had to be at a hospital two hours away for a procedure that was scheduled to start at 7 am. GB has been so dysregulated, I decided to bring her with us. MK agreed to get Hope up and on the bus. After 3 1/2 hours of being stabbed
very, very, very slowly with a four inch needle in my left hip, more times than I cared to count, and three full MRIs (i am claustrophobic), they decided their procedure wasn’t going to work. GB had no patience left for the ride home.
When we got home, the painkillers I took before we left finally kicked in. I laid down and let the hazy people around me do their own thing. MK put an end to that. Her baby was running a fever. A real fever. He needed to see a doctor. I pulled myself out of my haze and told MK she would have to drive. She agreed, but said I had to come in case he had a problem. I went to make sure GB was ready so we could leave as soon as Hope got off the bus. GB was by herself, in front of the TV, drinking Pepsi. Pepsi as caffeine in it. Even when GB is stable, she can’t tolerate caffeine. When she is already manic, it is not a pretty picture.
We got through the doctor visit. We made it home. Hope is still trying hard to be a reflection of GB. GB was bouncing off walls and Hope thought it ways great fun to bounce, too. I kept them contained in the living room, with me, and tried to pull them in and center them but it didn’t work.
Dinner is always difficult for Hope and last night was harder than most. She laughed, fell off the chair, spit her food out, complained constantly (yep, even while she was laughing), and managed to eat almost nothing. The Dad usually handles her during dinner since he doesn’t think I have enough tolerance with Hope. Every couple of minutes, for no reason that I can find, Hope starts a loud, high pitched screeching. My reaction is to remove her from the table. The Dad is working with her, trying to eliminate the behavior without removing Hope from the table. Last night, I had no tolerance for even the idea of a family dinner, much less actually sitting through one. As soon as GB was done eating, I took her upstairs to get ready for bed, take medication, and cuddle in a calm atmosphere. Thankfully, we have a big house, so Hope screaming downstairs didn’t really ruin our calmness. I had emailed GB’s shrink and emailed back, raising her lithium again. I gave her the extra capsule and a prn. She went off quickly. Hope didn’t. She threw her blankets off and screeched that someone had to cover her for almost thirty minutes before she finally gave up.
Yesterday is gone. I have hope for today. The girls have a half day at school today. We are going to stay in this afternoon and be calm and mellow. At least, that is the plan.
Start at the beginning. GB came home from school Friday completely manic- racing thoughts, pressured speech, no ability to modulate her voice and greatly looking forward to the weekend. Hope came home very unhappy, having lost all of her recess and not gotten her prize at the end of the day. GB was oblivious and Hope was jealous- and we met friends for dinner. Long Evening.
Saturday the girls woke up the same as they went to bed- GB manic, Hope jealous. We cleaned up the house in the morning, some of our friends and GB’s friends stopped by to decorate cookies and celebrate GB’s adoption in the afternoon. Both girls went to parents night out at the gym, and the Dad and I went out to dinner, childless, with friends. We didn’t pick the girls up until 9:30, and by this point GB was manic and tired (although she didn’t know it) and Hope was tired and figured crying was easier than any thing else. Hope was up until after 10 and GB finally went off somewhere around 11pm.
Sunday the Dad insisted on church for him and the girls and wanted MK and I to come. We did and MK brought Mali. That meant waking the girls up early, after a bad night. The girls had Pop Tarts and cookies for breakfast, cupcakes for lunch (not my idea). We got home from church, the girls were fed real food and then watched TV. The Dad rested a while, then took both girls to see his mother, driving over an hour each way. The four of them went out to dinner and it was well after bed time when my guys got home. GB was manic and couldn’t stop laughing. Hope decided that manic looked fun and joined in. The dad was spitting tacks and didn’t look like he was in much better shape then GB. I was soooo happy when every body was in bed.
This morning the Dad left early for work. I let the girls sleep in. When they finally woke up, both Hope and GB were better regulated. We went through our morning routine, then I drove them to school an hour late. Additional commentary can be found on the other blog if you are interested.
After 5 days of GB taking 3+ hours to fall asleep and waking up multiple times during the night, I do not think this manic is going anywhere soon. I emailed the shrink (psychiatrist), reporting what was going on and saying we need a change in meds. I also have an appointment with a new shrink, about an hour away, this evening. The Dad and I are considering using her for both girls. She is associated with the therapist we are using for Hope. I think I want to get GB in with the therapist, also.
Hope is having mixed days with GB being manic. Currently, Hope mimics everything GB says and does. This makes Hope look, to the casual observer, manic. She also seems to resent any attention GB gets and works hard at being in the spot light.
The school wants to start mainstreaming her. They don’t get RAD. Time to reconvene the CSE. It gets so old after a while…