Last year when we went for Flu shots, Hope traumatized us all. She screamed an hour before, and 30 minutes after. Today, The Dad and Hope went for Flu shots this afternoon. Hope started flipping out. The Dad chose to let the Flu shot go. Hope will be unprotected from influenza this year. I don’t think I would have made the same choice, but it was keeping with our decision to do things differently.
GB is still seeing the chiropractor and she is steadily having more dry nights. I have no idea why it works, but the results speak for themselves.
I wrote about our attempt to treat GB’s primary enuresis by chiropractor in https://adoptingspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/did-you-know/ . We are down to visiting the chiropractor once a week. GB has had four dry nights in a row. I knew that leaking through the pull-ups had been bothering her. I hadn’t realized how much it was bothering her until she asked me this morning when she could stop wearing the pull-ups.
After thinking about it, I told GB she could stop wearing pull-ups whenever she wants. I am sure she is making progress and her happiness and confidence is just glowing. I am delighted I gave a new (to me) idea a chance and it worked out so well.
Today is a quiet day. GB had book fair today and she was eager to get to school. I left for acupuncture as soon as GB was on the bus. The Dad took care of Hope and put her on the bus. I briefly wondered if Hope had taken the right medication, but I shook the thought off. I have not answered any calls from any of the people that work with Hope. After acupuncture, I took three hours to sit with an old friend at the hospital. Today was a good day for him and we enjoyed ourselves.
GB was approved for waiver services because of her developmental disability. I don’t actually have a medicaid card for her, but I do have a paper saying she was approved and that the card will be coming. Two years this took. It will be another 3 months before we can actually apply for services. I ran an ad on Graig*s list, saying I was looking for a special ed/psychology masters student to spend 3 – 10 hours a week with GB, starting with teaching her to ride a two wheeler. I was surprised at the number of replies I received. One of the responders was a special ed teacher who played softball in the league I ran for 10 years. She was a kind, reliable, athletic kid and her parents were really nice people. She comes Saturday to meet GB. With all the people taking Hope out and buying her stuff, I want GB to have some of that even though she is not a behavior problem.
Yesterday, The Dad took GB and Hope to Friendly*s for dinner. Mary Poppins just happened to be there. Hope chose to have a granddaddy of a meltdown. Karma? Maybe.
I am still numb after yesterday, and do not know how to feel or what to think. I see my therapist tomorrow.
EFT is the acronym for Emotional Freedom Technique, commonly refereed to as Tapping. It is based on the Chinese acupressure points. It is possible to lead the child in tapping, with you tapping each point on your self and saying the script out loud and the child following your lead and repeating the script. If your child can’t or won’t do that, you can tap on them directly, speaking the script as you go. There are many scripts you can find online, with videos to follow. If you stick with it, your child will memorize scripts and be able to use them at the appropriate times.
The illustration above shows the acupressure points used. I always start with the forehead, work my way downwards, then end with the crown of the head.
This link to Lisa’s Life in the Grateful House where I started. She has such a good post as to why you should tap, that I will let you read it there. I am using tapping on myself, particularly after Hope has used up my last ounce of energy. I use it with GB to reinforce the self-talk she already has been taught as a technique to use when she is overwhelmed. For Hope, I am using a script Lisa and her daughter made up just for Hope. There are also RAD scripts on Lisa’s blog to get you started.
It has only been a couple of weeks that we have been tapping, but both girls request it. GB has actually requested that I tap with her when she has recognized she is getting dysregulated.
Tapping isn’t a cure for our kids, but it is another tool to use on our journey of parenting special needs children.
A Trauma Mama is an ordinary mother who chooses to parent a child from the hard places. For various reasons, our kids have experienced things no child should have to experience. Abandonment, abuse, overwhelming neglect. Trauma. Children from Trauma can not be parented in the ways society takes for granted that neuro-typical children are raised. Ordinary parenting does not work with children of trauma. You need to have a whole different perspective on parenting.
Children from the hard places are different. They have never learned the world is safe. Their internal tapes are filled with shame, anger and worthlessness. They have no self worth and instinctively sabotage any good that comes into their lives.
As a Trauma Mama, my parenting is based on years of hands on experience. It is also based on years of literature, past and current. Not only books, but every scientific article I can find. I attend seminars that introduce new techniques that might be useful. And I have my other Trauma Mamas who share their hard earned knowledge with anyone interested.
Being a Trauma Mama is not for the faint of heart. It is 24/7, it is intense, it is relentless. And when I am not sure I can do it another second, my Trauma Mamas are there to tell me I am doing an awesome job and to breathe, I can take the next step.
A lot of Trauma Mama’s have multiple children who came from trauma. Our children do not define us as Trauma Mamas. How we chose to react to their behaviors and the commitments we make to them are what defines us.
That is why I am proud to be a Trauma Mama.
It has now been a week since my Reiki treatment. The first few nights after the treatment, my legs weren’t jumping and I slept well. They are back to jumping again. I saw no difference in the trembling, my balance, or my strength. It was only one one-hour treatment, so I really wasn’t expecting much. Considering I had three good nights in a row after it, which almost never happens, I am inclined to believe it did something. I am going to commit to it for three weeks and reevaluate its effect.
We are leaving for NY in an hour. Please keep all of us in your prayers.
Yesterday, my SIL got everyone out of the house (no easy task) and I had my first Reiki session. I have major neurological problems- two kinds of neuropathy and a white matter disease- and at this point they are all progressing. My SIL believes she can use Reiki to heal me of all of them. I agreed to suspend disbelieve and give it a chance.
My SIL has a room that she uses for Reiki and meditation. One wall has 6″ squares, each with a Reiki symbol, arranged in two sets on the far wall. There are two antique brass bowls, each with a wooden cylinder, and each makes its own distinctive sound. There are many crystals of varying sizes and colors. There was a large massage table in the center. Music was playing, but low enough that I wasn’t trying to identify it. Directly outside a pair of French doors, there was a a ten foot waterfall,the sound of which attracted my attention much more than the music.
I laid down and closed my eyes. I heard her putting something on the table, I think in the four corners. My legs started twitching and then went into spasms. Even though my eyes were closed, I saw sea green everywhere. I noticed an unfamiliar odor- not unpleasant, but definitely some thing I didn’t recognize. The color slowly changed to grey. I don’t really know how long it took, but it seemed like time was stretched out.
I am not sure what, if anything, happened. My SIL was pleased and said it went well. I am still processing the whole episode. When I draw conclusions, I’ll share.