A Visit to her Sibling

A Big Sister

GB went shopping this morning. She picked out a beautiful dress and matching shoes for her bio half-sister. She is visiting her today and is very excited.

She is excited about the baby, but the baby’s birth and the consequences of that birth are stirring up feelings that are difficult for her. One of the baby’s and GB’s uncles and his husband want to adopt the baby. They live out of state. Although there is no way for that to legally happen right now, they will be taking the baby home with them. They announced the baby’s name change. They also said GB can’t mention that BM is the baby’s mother or that the baby is her sister. GB’s response was anger at that restriction and fear that their love depends on her pretending for them. CPS took GB’s half brother away from BM last week.  GB is afraid she will lose the (very) limited contact she has had with him. She had been happy with seeing him once or twice a year. The baby is alcohol and drug exposed. GB is just now starting to come to terms with having FAS. She doesn’t understand how BM is still making the same mistakes.

All of these events have raised more questions for GB about her own story. The baby is a girl and brown. Her given name was GB’s given middle name.  GB is again looking at why her BM left her. The child BM kept was male and light-skinned. GB thinks both are factors in why BM choose to keep him. I don’t understand why BM does most things she does and the best I have for GB is an Idk.  She talks about how angry she is at BM and how she never wants to see her or speak to her again. I tell her I understand her anger and she doesn’t have to speak to her or see her but that she may feel differently in time.

When GB was small, my stock answer to “How come BM did _______?” was BM has problems. This answer isn’t good enough for GB anymore. I don’t have a better answer.