Never Again

GB is entering puberty. Rather, GB is in puberty. Full underarm and pubic hair. Real breasts.  And all the hormones that go with it. Besides having FAS, GB was diagnosed with Early On-Set Bipolar Disorder when she was three. A well known psychiatrist Gianni Faedda, who specialized in Early On-Set Bipolar and psycho-pharmacology, treated GB from when she was three until she was eight. He gave her years of blessed stability.

The Dad moved both girls to a psychiatrist who admitted that she had limited knowledge and experience with psycho-pharmacology. Neither have had a med change in years. Hope’s meds are not optimum, but the Geodan she put GB on is completely ineffective. In the last two and a half years, I have wanted to change back Dr Faedda. The Dad has been an adamant “no”.  For two and a half years, I have let him deprive GB of effective treatment.

Today I said “yes”. My daughter is entitled to effective treatment. I hadn’t spoken to Dr. Faedda in almost four years. I called his personal cell phone number today and he answered. He excused himself from the meeting he was in, got a note pad, and listened to me talk for 20 minutes.  He said if The Dad agreed, he would start treating GB immediately. If he wouldn’t agree, I would need a court order.

I gave The Dad Dr. Faedda’s cell number and told him to speak to him. Then I called my lawyer and told him I needed an application to the court to get GB treatment.  GB will be back under Dr. Faedda’s care by the end of the week. I am a jumble of feelings, headlined by relief. I am aware regret is also playing a large part in what I feel. Why did I allow GB to go without effective treatment for  almost three years?  Why was keeping the peace so damn important to me? Never again will a relationship with a man- any man- prevent me from doing what is best for GB.

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