No More Twirly Skirts

GB came home from school yesterday agitated. Her speech was pressured and she couldn’t make eye contact. I couldn’t understand most of what she said. There was one phrase she kept repeating and I finally caught it. “No more twirly skirts”. It didn’t make sense. GB loves twirly skirts. GB and I went through her breathing exercises and I prompted her to hold on to the twirly skirt thought. She did.

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GB said that her first friend in her new class, S, said they couldn’t be friends if GB was a “goody-goody”. I asked what a “goody-goody” was. GB said they wear twirly skirts, sit by the teacher, and never get their “cards” pulled. (Cards are pulled in her class when a rule is broken.) I pointed out to GB that she loved twirly skirts and hated getting in trouble. She answered that if she wanted to be friends with S, she would have to change. I tried talking about the difference between trying not to annoy people and trying to change who she was. I confused her. She told me S found goody-goodies annoying.

I asked her the difference between real friends and people who just say they are your friend. The blank look on her face told me it was time to stop. We will revisit this with her therapist tomorrow.

7 thoughts on “No More Twirly Skirts

  1. A book on friendship, maybe something like “How to Be a Friend,” by Marc Jacob, might help GB think about what a good friend should be, without targeting her new friend in particular, who she’ll probably want to defend at all costs because she’s so delighted to have a friend. It could plant a seed, especially since most current books about friendships for kids talk about bullies, and what that girl is doing is a form of bullying, to my mind. ~ Marianne

    http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Friend-Friends-Families/dp/0316111538/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360353128&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+be+a+friend

  2. This makes me sad…I am a mature adult and I still look for twirly skirts or dresses…and women older than me in my congregation still do too. Tell GB that some of us never “grow out of that stage”…nor do we want to.

  3. Peer pressure! Don’t you just love it? I guess S’s aversion to twirly skirts means that she wears combat boots and gang colors to school.

  4. It sounds to me like the other girl got jealous of GB’s enjoyment of a good skirt twirl and decided to be mean. The goody-goody thing is a definite warning, though. Take cupcakes to class and ask Miss Angst why anyone would want to be a baddy-baddy. If she says something snotty, tell her you put poop in her cupcake so she would like it. Not really, but tempting, right?

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