Welcome, 2013

Exactly one  year ago, I wrote this post, https://adoptingspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2012/01/page/3/ . My word for 2012 was going to be “moment“, as staying in the moment. Looking back, I would have to say I failed more often then I succeeded. There was a a 3 month period over the summer where I was unable to start fresh each moment. Getting physically beat up can do that to a person.

The last couple of months The Dad has been Hope’s primary caregiver. Yesterday, Hope raged and got him with a head butt in the face. It looked painful. She kicked me, but it didn’t catch me by surprise, as she had already kicked The Dad’s brother.

Hope is on medication, which she wasn’t on this time last year. Her raging is a little less in terms of frequency and intensity- but not much. This year provided very little healing for Hope.

We have a new configuration of therapists lined up. If you are interested you can read it on the other blog.

I am looking at 2013 as a fresh start, but I decided to use the word “moment” again. I do not want to repeat all of 2012’s mistakes again this year. I still think an RTF is Hope’s best shot, but I am willing to try a new approach. For Hope’s sake, for my families sake, I pray for healing.

One thought on “Welcome, 2013

  1. I hope all the success for you, for Hope, for all the family.

    I acknowledge how difficult it is to take care of a child with trauma.
    You do the best you can, with what you have. And only for this, you can be proud of yourself.

    You made mistakes. So what ?
    Progress, not perfection. Perfection is not in this world.
    You don’t have to be perfect, because it’s such an impossible goal and a guilt trap.

    So, you said that you failed more often than you succeeded to be “in the moment”.
    You say that you failed more than you succeed.
    And instead of focusing on the moments you failed, why don’t you focus on the moments you succeeded in 2012 ? You can take support on the memories of moments you did succeeded to be in the moment in order to be more in the moment this year.
    Being in the moment is not something you can master from zero to perfection overnight. It’s a very long work, and you can expect up and downs.
    From what I read on this blog, I perceive you as a woman who wants to succeed at 100% overnight when you set up a gal like “being in the moment” or “being positive”. But being in the moment, here and now, is not something you master at 100% overnight. Even the Buddhists monks don’t always succeed to be in the moment, and they work on this all day long, during years (even all their life).
    You are absolutely not a failure because you didn’t succeed all the time to be positive or in the moment.

    This blog post reminds me the blog post you beat yourself up because you didn’t succeed at being always positive for two weeks.
    Well, even being positive is not a skill you can master at 100% overnight. It’s a long long work.
    And the same way you have ups and downs when you want to be in the moment, you have ups and downs with wanting to be positive.
    It’s a journey more than a goal by itself.
    You don’t need to beat yourself up because you didn’t succeed the way you wanted to succeed.

    Take care of yourself and Happy New Year

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