Whose Mistake?

We went to Radio City Music Hall and saw their Holiday Spectacular. We went with another family. We took the train down to Grand Central. We meandered around Rockefeller Plaza. The kids each picked an activity from the MOMA gift shop as a souvenir. We had hot dogs from street vendors and went to the 1pm matinee. Our seats were in the second row and each girl had cotton candy and a Radio City Music Hall Santa hat which came with cotton candy.

The show itself was an absolute success. All the girls were mesmerized.

Dinner was not as successful. We had reservations, but the restaurant was $50 an entree and had no kid’s menu. My Fillet Mignon  and the sauce it came with was delicious. Everybody else had trouble finding something they thought they would eat. I didn’t recognize most of what was on the menu.

Hope had an awful day. The only time she enjoyed herself was during the actual show. She was difficult all day. She had two full blown rages. In the middle of Manhattan. We had no graceful exits,

That old dilemma again. We want her to enjoy the family time with us. She can’t handle anything but a small, confined world. I am glad Hope had the experience of seeing the show. I never want to take her anywhere again.

6 thoughts on “Whose Mistake?

  1. It sounds like a little too much activity for one day. Maybe next time a show and dinner in a more child friendly environment where the expectations are a little more reasonable would work out better for everyone involved.

  2. Oh how this resonates with me. When Gage was that 2 year stretch of time where life for him was unbearable we just stayed in a lot. His life was what I call a Bare Minimum Life.

    We just limited everything…I think he used us most of his resources for the school week and had nothing left at night or the weekends…

  3. Sounds like fun, except for Hope’s trouble and the melt downs. It is tough as we hate to have our children miss out… but I am getting closer and closer to getting respite in place. I plan to use it when things are too difficult for Missy otherwise. Actually, She’s opposite of HOpe, Missy can handle activity… she can’t handle lack of activity. So, I can take her on an outing that is active, but if we are going to sit around and relax somewhere, then we have a problem.

  4. I would NEVER leave one of my kids out of an activity when we were raising them (well, we are still raising several, but this was when all 10 of mine were home and all are close in age). Family events, weddings, school activities, church activities, holiday events- we all went together. We ended up being miserable 90% of the time because of just one or two of the kids who could not keep it together. It was unthinkable to me (at first) to leave one home with Dad or a sitter while the rest of us went to cheer one of the older kids on in a sports game or went to a family b-day party. The guilt was HUGE to even consider it. In hindsight, it was really stupid of me to insist that we ALL participate as a family 100% of the time. It did get to the point where my husband stayed home with the most challenging child (until that child turned 18 and took off) all the time or else none of us went because behaviors were so unpredictable. Could we get thru an activity without a meltdown? Sometimes – but we never knew when that would be and there were no distinct triggers to avoid – anything and everything could be a trigger. If I had to do it over again, I would have stopped taking my son places long before he had a chance to practice triangulating every person he came into contact with against me or someone else in our household. It gave him too much power to manipulate and made the rest of us miserable and anxious – always wondering what he might say or do next.

    I’m glad you gave Hope this opportunity. Maybe next time just look at it like this – she’s just not ready to go to “big kid” activities until she is more stable. You’ve tried it, she’s shown you it’s too much for her.

  5. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out! The restaurant does sound like it would have been stressful. But I’m also glad Hope and GB got to see the show.

  6. oy, sounds like such a stressful situation. way too overstimulating for a kid like hope (or my older son), and a set-up for failure. yet also an amazing opportunity for family time. i appreciate lmariegreene’s comments about letting go of some of the guilt for not bringing all the kids everywhere all the time. if what makes hope feel safest and be most in control of her behavior is to keep her world very small, it’s doing right by her to keep things that way even at the expense of worldliness right now. i want so badly for my older son to be able to do “normal” things that he just can’t. i’m trying to learn how to accept that even when he wants to do those things, keeping his world a little smaller and more structured is better for everyone and to learn to believe that i’m not evil for doing the things with him that my friends with similar-aged kids do.

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