7 Day Challenge: Day 1

There was an interesting comment on yesterday’s post. It ended with the question “Should I tell my daughter I’m taking this challenge, and let them hold me accountable?!”. I gave it some thought and decided to tell GB this morning. GB is in a good space right now and most of our interactions are positive. She thought it was a good idea and asked if it included MK. I hadn’t thought about including her, because at 26, she really isn’t a child. I decided it was a good idea to include her in my challenge. It would be a good opportunity to model how other people  can should not be able to make you respond in a certain way.

I chose not to not to tell MK and Hope. MK generally starts the day in a positive space, but tends to interpret anything other than 100% agreement, including silence, as negative. Hope would consider it a challenge to make me lose my temper. I realize GB may tell either or both of them, since I never asked her not to. If it happens, it will make it a little more difficult.

So far today, I am having success. Of course, Hope just got home from school. I am looking forward to getting at least a couple of positive comments in for Hope before bedtime.

For those of you taking the challenge with me; Did you choose to tell your child(ren)? How did your first day go?

6 thoughts on “7 Day Challenge: Day 1

  1. I’m not ready to officially say I’m doing this, but it certainly has me thinking more about what I do say. Just being more aware will likely help me be more positive.

    When I do decide to take the “challenge” I don’t think I will tell my kids. I think it would be more meaningful to them if they don’t know why I’m doing it.

    I haven’t decided if I would tell Rich. If he was supportive and not critical, then yes, it would be helpful to have him help me be accountable.

  2. owe!! totally blew this at supper as a certain child was ignoring all use of manners. Oh boy…. I have to remember better tomorrow.

  3. Well, I “practiced” Thursday and Friday—LOL. Had a few slips on Thursday when I automatically corrected my daughters when they were doing something I deemed wrong. Friday went better. But I’ll officially start counting down on Saturday. I don’t think I’ll let my daughters know that I’m doing this, not at first, anyway, because I think they may go out of their way to goad me into losing my cool. Yeah, 13 and 18 are good ages to try to experiment with Mama’s emotions! 😉

  4. Tomorrow will be a week of me doing the challenge (after my practice days), and besides a few barked “No!”s at my youngest daughter, who is normally the one who bears the brunt of my negativity (because she’s the one who is so dysregulated; I’m *not* a monster), I’ve been doing alright on this challenge. I’m finding my greatest strength is in being silent. Seriously. It’s soooooo not like me, as anyone who knows me—and particularly my two daughters—can tell you. As my youngest says, I talk in paragraphs, and all they hear are the first few words. So, when I go on a negative, but “instructional” tirade, all they absorb is the negative tone, I think.Silence (i.e., neutrality), even though I may be thinking terrible thoughts, creates such a better environment for us all when any one of us is stressed, I’ve discovered. I’m going to keep on keeping on with this challenge. When necessary, I give clear, quick directions, which actually are instructional because they’re absorbed—LOL. And I dole out consequences when necessary, and then disappear from any fight that my daughters try to pick with me. So, the fighting in the house has pretty much disappeared: a one-sided fight is short and pathetic. I’m no Mother Teresa, for sure. But this has really made a difference in improving the climate of our family. Thanks so much for writing about this! (And my daughters thank you too, no doubt.) ❤

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