We are back from our cruise. The Dad picked Hope up shortly after we arrived home. She seemed happy to see us. She was happy not to be at respite- a full week gave respite a taste of the Hope we live with. For the first hour, there were lots of “I missed you”, “I love you”, hugs, and cuddles. It didn’t last. Hope had her first rage on Joe- at Friendly’s no less. Salsa and quesadilla all over the place, Hope carried out screaming. I didn’t get involved. I am not hurt.
The Dad and I were both keenly aware of the stress that wasn’t there for the last week and that it was because Hope wasn’t there. We had different reactions to that. It convinced The Dad that our family needs a substantial break from Hope. I refused to think about the future last week. I came home relaxed. My body is not working overtime in producing cortisol. I had several acupuncture treatments on the ship and my chronic pain level is around a 6- much lower then it has been in over a year. My mind is able to function again. The bite marks are only scars.
Maybe adopting Hope was a mistake. It doesn’t matter. It is my reality. We made a commitment to Hope. Now we have to figure out the best way to keep that commitment. Not easy stuff.
The Dad is taking Hope to work with him tomorrow. I will be able to track down paper work, go food shopping, and get GB school shoes.