The Crazies

The Crazies are up a notch today. Hope is attacking, destroying, and mad at the world. She is smiling as she ruins whatever she touches- even her own stuff. I told her she would need to replace everything she destroyed that belonged to someone else. Hope laughed and told me she had no money. I told her she could either do chores to earn money or we could skip her birthday party and that way we would have $200 to replace what she broke. Hope stopped laughing and told me I couldn’t do that. I didn’t answer and now Hope is destroying things with grim determination instead of Crazy joy. I told her I was sad she was making such poor decisions. That brought the smile back.  I brought out the foam blocks and left them in the middle of the floor. Maybe destroying things will get boring and she will decide to build. Maybe not.

4 thoughts on “The Crazies

  1. Oh crap. That sucks, big time. And it’s soooooooooooo hard for me to stay calm, cool, and collected like you sound when things are being destroyed in the house. Later, I can remind myself that they’re only things, but it’s so darn hard for me to watch the destruction and not escalate into full dysregulated mode myself. it sounds like you’re staying connected with Hope, remaining peaceful, and voicing the limits and consequences. I have so much respect for you. Sorry, though. Wish I could do something to help.

  2. Oh yuck! Do you think the destruction is fueled by anger and fear? She may be unable to verbalize how she feels so she breaks stuff. She smiles when she sees your distress not because she’s evil but because you’re feeling a little bit of her hurt. It’s a form of communication, not what you’re looking for, but it’s a start.

    • I am sure anger and fear are all Hope knows. I do not think she is evil- I think the attachment therapy brought stuff up that she is currently unable to deal with.

  3. We have some foam “mad blocks”, too. The ones that have worked the best are a bucket full of dollar store swim noodle pieces. Get the cheap noodles, chop them up into pieces about 4-5″ long with a serrated or electric knife and then let her have at it. She can throw them at pretty much anything she wants. I even let my kids throw them at me (and they know that’s the only thing they can throw at me without getting in trouble….especially since I usually throw them right back.) It take a LOT of energy to get those noodle pieces to go very far and even when they do, they’re harmless to just about anything except maybe Grandma’s antique crystal goblets, which I’m pretty sure you don’t have laying around anymore anyway. The best part is that the little darlings can clean up the mess in about 2 minutes when it’s all said and done. If they’ll do it, we also have the kids cream I’m mad at……. when they throw the block. Sometimes we give them prompts for it. Sometimes we don’t.

    Hang in there, Mama.

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