Days are up and down. Hope is edgier, quick to go off. She no longer wears shoes while in the car. Three days in a row, she chose to throw them at the Dad as he was driving. I just don’t drive with her anymore. She talked the Dad into leaving the door to her room open last night because she was “lonely”. Within a couple minutes, Hope had gone into MK’s room and emptied a perfume bottle. Sigh. Alarm on again. Hope is clingy and clearly nervous about being abandoned again. Words that say she is ours forever are hollow to her. She can’t/ won’t control the violence. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. Families can not survive that level of violence and chaos indefinitely.
I am still working on the SPOA paperwork. I am also working on getting more help into the house. If everything goes perfectly, we won’t have an RTF until at least October. Meanwhile, I put as many gentle words, soft eyes, and loving touches into Hope as I can. Maybe, some day, she will remember them. And when she remembers, maybe she will let herself be bathed in their warmth.