Memories for the Future

Days are up and down. Hope is edgier, quick to go off. She no longer wears shoes while in the car. Three days in a row, she chose to throw them at the Dad as he was driving. I just don’t drive with her anymore. She talked the Dad into leaving the door to her room open last night because she was “lonely”. Within a couple minutes, Hope had gone into MK’s room and emptied a perfume bottle. Sigh. Alarm on again. Hope is clingy and clearly nervous about being abandoned again. Words that say she is ours forever are hollow to her. She can’t/ won’t control the violence. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. Families can not survive that level of violence and chaos indefinitely.

I am still working on the SPOA paperwork. I am also working on getting more help into the house. If everything goes perfectly, we won’t have an RTF until at least October. Meanwhile, I put as many gentle words, soft eyes, and loving touches into Hope as I can. Maybe, some day, she will remember them. And when she remembers, maybe she will let herself be bathed in their warmth.

2 thoughts on “Memories for the Future

  1. Praying for your safety, for Hope’s fear, for your beautiful love to work its way into the deepest part of her heart. Love you. (((hug)))

  2. I’m so sorry that Hope continues to carry so much violence and chaos into your home. I hope, with all my heart, that one day she will be able to be with you all, in peace and love. Thinking of you all lots. Wishing I had a magic, healing wand.

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