Hope transition home from the hospital did not go well, but The Dad drove us to
our my get a away with Trauma Mama’s weekend anyway. Hope was difficult, with a lousy attitude, a lot of the time. We are back to food issues, which continued on the ride home. She did have times when she let herself enjoy the other kids. Hope has good memories of the weekend.
GB and I stayed with the other Trauma Mama’s and their kids. GB went on overload a couple of times. Once she was able to tell me before she melted down, but I was unable to get her out of the museum fast enough. She enjoyed meeting my friends and playing with their kids. GB was somewhat of a tweener, moving back and forth between the older kids and the younger ones. She enjoyed everyone but her sister.
It took a lot of the weekend, but I did relax and reset. This morning I set up the psychological testing, which will be completed this week. We are going the RTF route, even though there will be a lot more travel involved, for a couple of reasons. The most important is time. I am Hope’s biggest trigger, which is natural given her history. It has been true since the day we picked her up at her first adoptive families. The Attachment Intensive stirred up a lot of the trauma Hope experienced and her anger is aimed at me. I am unable to absorb the physical abuse anymore. Hope needs to be somewhere safe, away from her trigger and work on the trauma. The RTF could be approved by the end of September, if I can get all the paperwork done by the 23rd. The RTF is also a higher level of care, with more therapy, more staff, more family work, and usually a shorter stay.
It is time to regroup. Time to recover from the chaos. Then Hope will come home. We will be more prepared and hopefully, she will have worked through some of the trauma. We all need to be physically safe.