The Seed We Planted…

Jimmy, 27 years later

My newest grandaughter- who came looking for me.

Thirty plus years ago we had three boys. You know about J. He was an infant. Robbie came as an adoptive placement at eight. When he hit puberty at 12 he started hallucinating. The only way we could get treatment for him was by dissolving the adoption. It wasn’t what we wanted, it wasn’t what he wanted but there were no other options. The third boy was Jimmy. He came to us as a foster child when he was 10. The county wouldn’t let him go back to his dad. His mother was the permanency plan. When she made only one of her scheduled weekly visits in six months time, that plan was scrapped. We eventually adopted him. When Robbie was placed in an RTC, the anger boiled over in Jimmy. He hated me, he hated The Dad, he hated rules, he hated chores. After six months in a treatment group home, Jimmy was still adamant that he did not want to be adopted any more. After four years as a foster then adoptive placement, we dissolved the adoption. It was painful. I was young and reasonably clueless. That was almost 27 years ago.

Wednesday, I received a FB message from a 17 year old girl asking if I had an adopted son named James. Thursday was Hope’s big meltdown. I didn’t look at the message until Friday. I answered that I had an adopted son named James a long time ago, but he had chosen to end the relationship. Saturday afternoon, we exchanged more information and it was apparent she was talking about my Jimmy. She then told me that Jimmy was her father and she was kinda my granddaughter.

Saturday night, Jimmy started a chat on FB that lasted over an hour. He left here angry, but was now able to place the anger at the county for taking him away from his Dad and his mother who abandoned him. Sunday morning after breakfast and showers, I opened FB and Jimmy was there waiting. He lives about an hour and a half from us. This afternoon, he brought his wife and his three kids to meet us. His two youngest did well with our girls and his oldest daughter stayed right by me. It was amazing the details Jimmy remembered. The Dad got out two huge picture albums and the two of them went through them picture by picture. The visit lasted six hours and there were no strained moments.

Jimmy had grown into a man that I liked and enjoyed. He has been married 19 years and is a good father. Sometimes, you get to see the flower that came from the seed you planted… even if it is 27 years later.

15 thoughts on “The Seed We Planted…

  1. What a lovely post. It is wonderful that you can enjoy your contribution to this boy's childhood just when it must be difficult to remember how much you're contributing to Hope's future today (and those of you other children and grandchildren, of course).

  2. I am so happy to read this!! It is amazing how some things come just when they are needed.

    I imagine this could be good stuff for Hope to see too, especially if you are able to filter out some of the painful parts of the story.

  3. This made me cry. Hard.

    You have been and still are planting awesome seeds!!!!!

    I know the three short months we had with our almost adopted daughter made an impact on her. When she came back to visit after her son was born she told us her son's middle name was the same as my husband's first name. What an honor!

    She knew she was welcomed here as family. She knew she belonged… as long as she wanted to. She knew she was loved.

    I often wonder what kind of relationship we might have had if her life had not been snuffed out far too soon!

  4. What a testimony to God's grace and goodness! He is bigger than all the garbage this world throws at us! Thank you for sharing this message of hope and encouragement!

  5. Thank you so much for posting a follow up. What an amazing story and he's been married for 19 years?? That is FANTASTIC!!!!
    Very, very happy for you and The Dad ๐Ÿ™‚
    Don't want to get too optimistic, but maybe, just maybe this may just be a seed for Hope also ๐Ÿ™‚

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