Drawing Lines

  Hope woke up this morning snarly. The Dad helped her pick out clothes just before he left. Unfortunately, when Hope put on the skirt, it was much too short.    When I told Hope she had to change it, she slapped me. I took her down on the bed and did my best to keep from getting hurt. She was trying to claw and headbutt me and had some success. When she bared her teeth to bite, I reminded her I would call the police and the police would take her to the hospital. She closed her mouth and went back to clawing and kicking. Twice more she bared her teeth and each time, I reminded her what would happen the next time she bit. After a while, I told her she could call The Dad when she calmed down. The tantrum stopped immediately.       

I realize this was only the morning. I count it a victory that Hope chose not to cross that line.                                                                     

8 thoughts on “Drawing Lines

  1. It is very interesting that she is controlling some of her behaviors (the biting) in response to the threat of a consequence (police/hospital). What this says is that she can control her behavior when she is motivated to do so. Obviously you can't use the hospital consequence for everything forever, nor would you want to, but it does give a glimpse into her state when she's in these fits and why the psychiatrist is indicating they are not technically rages. I really do hope and pray that Miss Hope can heal over time and learn to be motivated through more positive means. (Please know I am sure you've tried!)

  2. interesting that she could control herself to a degree. I've threatened with police. I have driven half-way to the hospital myself with a crazy child in the back seat, but I was so relieved when she decided she didn't want to go and stopped because I didn't know how I was going to explain things at the ER. I was desperate and I needed help unless she calmed. This is how the ball got rolling towards the psych evals coming up in July. People started hearing me!!

    I pray that this was a good sign that HOPE will have an easier day. . . but if not, I'll pray for your strength. You are an amazing woman!

  3. I know it is hard to see progress when things are so terrible but from the outside looking in (from the little you wrote) this does seem like progress. So glad she chose to control herself to a degree. ((Hugs)) to you because even with progress this is so hard.

  4. My daughter stopped biting when she got braces on her teeth and was afraid to spoil them. It made me realize she was able to control her behavior. That was nearly six years ago. She will be 20 soon and she has been neither biting nor using physical aggression for a couple of years (she has never been medicated). She is still very emotional and can´t deal with her emotions perfectly, so sometimes she explodes – screaming and crying but that is ok with me. She used to be much much worse. She started a therapy dealing with her trauma a year ago but her behavior improved long before that. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope for you too. H.

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