What Medication Can and Can’t Do

Hope has now had seven doses (very low- 2.5 mg) of Abilify. In that time she has had just one rage. Huge improvement! She is doing a better job of completing her work and following rules in school. However, she still has RAD. 

The alarm to her door has not been installed yet. Earlier in the week, she got into GB’s nail polish one day. Another day she brought somebody’s make-up home from school. This morning she came out of her bedroom completely dressed, with her coat on. Ummm, her coat doesn’t belong upstairs. I check her pockets. A single key, a ring with five keys, an antique broach. The broach, I think, was my MIL’s. I am clueless as to where the keys came from. We went downstairs for breakfast. Hope refused to take her coat off. I fed the girls and they gathered their stuff for the bus. Hope was still acting strangely. I told her to take her coat off and gave her a coat with no pockets. She started crying and crossed her arms. I sent GB to wait at the bottom of the driveway for the bus. Hope and I were stuck. I very quietly told Hope if she missed the bus, nobody would be driving her to school. I waited. After minutes had passed, Hope reluctantly took off her jacket. I instantly saw the problem. Hope was wearing yesterday’s shirt, complete with last night’s dinner on it. I told her to change her shirt and the tears started again. She said that this was the only pretty shirt left in her draw. It was time for the bus and I pointed to the clock. We went to her room and I choose a shirt and told her to put it on. She then put on the coat without pockets and as we went out the back door, the bus stopped at the end of the driveway.

I am grateful that I didn’t have to restrain Hope this morning. I am tired of every little thing being a hassle.

2 thoughts on “What Medication Can and Can’t Do

  1. You are so right. Meds don't solve everything but it sure makes some things easier.:) Less rages is a plus, for sure. We have seen the same result from Jackson taking Abilify. Glad you are being able to see some positive change. It has calmed Jackson to the point we can began working on the other issues without every little thing being a huge battle. Healing can't begin until the rages are controlled, IMHO. When you are able to stabilize her moods (as well as possible) then you can focus on the crazy RAD stuff you mentioned, even more and hopefully with some success. (((hugs))) You are a great mom!!

  2. Hello, Sure that meds can't solve everything. But did you read "The explosive child" ? I don't say that it's a magic bullet, but it is very helpful. I suffer from ADHD (and some other stuff too), and I cre my 7 years old stepbrother.He suffers from dyslexia and some other issues undiagnosed (her mother is such a person who burrys her head in the sand, and I hate this way of doing : things can only escalate. And my main conflict with her comes from it, so the less I see her, the best for my safety and my health), and it happened to him to rage even for the slightest little thing. He is currently on Speech Therapy. I applied the method described in the book. I don't say that everything is cured, and we live on a bed of roses, but it's much better. We stopped "flights or fights", and we could also stop power struggles. Of course, my stepbrother has no pattern of bipolar disorder (so not as extreme as Hope), but the power struggles are exhausting for both of us and no one wins. The main ideas are to set priorities and to make things happen with both involved. On some stuff, I don't let any choice at all because they are a matter of health and safety (life or death, literally speaking), but on some others, I have a margin of management. Like he needs to help, but I let him choose between, for example, setting the table or helping me mashing the potatoes.Even my daddy (we have the same daddy but not the same mommy) was amazed on how I made him help at home without screaming, without argument, without rage. On my side, I stopped being drained about every fight and flight, as I have an "outside door" not to happen. Also, I honestly think that at the moment, the first and foremost priority is her health and physical safety. I don't believe that in this context, homework does worth the battle. I understand your concerns, but if she is unstable, homework can't be done, and if done, only to drain you and her. After school while unstable, she is really too tired, she holds together at school while trying to learn, at home, she lashes. I feel for you for your exhaustion, and I hear that you can't continue like that. So in order not to exhaust you more, set priorities. Don't add in your plate when your plate is already full, it can only be worse. When Hope is stable, you can think about being a parent who teaches respect, politeness and so. But Hope can't learn it if she is unstable. It doesn't mean you have to give up this aim, but set it for the moment she is stable. It is something you can realistically teach her when stable, not when she rages all the time. Also, you can have different set of rules, one for when stable and one for unstability. Because realistically, you can't ask her the same things when she is stable and when she is not stable. Otherwise, you exhaust yourself to keep up with unrealistic goals. When she is healthy and safe, everything is possible. One day at time, one baby step at time, there is a shiny day after a rainy day. Take care

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