Through the Rage

Hope came home from school yesterday surly. I gave her a snack and afterwards told her it was homework time. She responded by kicking me, with her shoes on, hard. I immediately took her to the floor and restrained her. I.am.NOT.getting.beat.up.any.more. 

Hope was prone, I was on my side. I had Hope’s arms crossed over her head. I took her shoes off. All normal stuff. She tried to head butt me, and I put my cheek in the hollow of her neck so that she couldn’t. Skin to skin contact. Hope struggled a little less. I realized I had enough movement left in my left index finger to reach Hope’s cheek. I started softly stroking it. I used no words, just touch.  After fifteen minutes of screaming, threatening, and trying to scratch me, she went limp. I kept stroking her cheek. Time passed. When I felt safe enough to let Hope up, the rage was gone. 

The games were still there. The homework was done incorrectly. She tried her usual bag of RAD tricks. BUT… the rage was gone and for that I am thankful.

4 thoughts on “Through the Rage

  1. I often don't know how to comment your blog posts. I read them though, and wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you.It's hard to see someone you love struggle so much, and it's got to be hard to see the love through the physical abuse. I admire your patience, and sometimes feel a little like a coward when I don't comment on the things you write . . . like I'm making you do it all alone (though I know others read and comment and you're not looking for "my" support) because the topic is too "hard" and your words aren't being registered.Anyway, This has to be hard and my thoughts are with you.

  2. I like the idea of strong sitting. I wish we had had that when Toots was younger. Have you ever tried wrapping Hope in a weighted blanket? They are available in occupational therapy catalogs. This really helped Toots calm down on a number of occasions when she was little.

  3. Making a weighted blanket is pretty easy. I can get you directions or if you'd like I can custom make one for you. Only concern would be how to get it to you.You are not alone. Hugs and prayers!!Mary

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