I start this with the admission both of my little ones are having a rough time. I was hoping it was largely caused by the Dad and I being on different pages, in different books. It is more than that. I took GB into my bed Thursday night and started stroking her face. I moved to her neck, then down her arms. I hummed very softly and waited. GB eventually settled in and started talking. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or to herself. I listened without breaking my rhythm. At first I thought it was just random thoughts she was throwing out. It wasn’t. After letting her ramble for 15 minutes, she was able to come back to this thought: Hope was really good at acting cute, everybody loves Hope acting cute, and GB has no idea how to handle it. She spoke about how sad she felt when people preferred Hope over her. She spoke wistfully about the kind voices people use with Hope and how much she liked it when people used that voice with her. It doesn’t happen much any more. I kept stroking her and she fell asleep. I cried.
Some changes are easy. Some changes aren’t. Next week, when I am up again, I will pull Hope from GB’s gymnastic class and put her in a class an hour before GB’s. I will keep GB next to me so I can intervene quickly. I don’t know what else I can try, but I will have to figure it out.
Today, Hope cried and whined all afternoon. Everybody used soothing voices and tried to make everything better. MK and Booboo took her for a walk and gave her money for the dollar store. Not once did anyone get loud or forceful with Hope, even after 6 hours of her screaming, crying, and saying she hate them. GB did not hear that soothing, calming voice from anybody but me.
Sometimes Hope is cute, bright and charming. When she plays cute, it is very different. Her smile is different, she is running the show. The tears go on and off in a nanosecond. So does her “I am afraid to find my shoes”, “You don’t love me”, ” I just want a hug, that’s all”, onto mindless, high pitch screeching. And yet, after six hours of this, nobody has run out of patience.