My Hope

Hope has been here almost 6 months. I think the honeymoon (if you can call biting, scratching and screaming a honeymoon)  is over. The physical aggression has greatly decreased. Most of her aggression now is when she thinks she won’t get caught. She has her real smile, which is pure pleasure to see, and she has her I-am-so-cute RAD smile she wears as defense most of the time. Her triangulation is starting to develop major league muscles, catching her therapist one session. Her favorite phrase, when she doesn’t get exactly what she wants is “you don’t love me”. The stomping of feet, crossing of arms, and the death ray look has almost moved in with us, as opposed to being a frequent visitor. She has suddenly become incapable of doing her pre-k homework. She is furious when I tell her HW is her problem, not mine. She tries playing the I can’t do it card, but since all it consists of is tracing her name, she hasn’t found any sympathy. Most times she earns a consequence, her reaction is ” I want to call my Texas family”.  I tell her  she may want to, but it isn’t happening right now. I have had the bus company put them in separate seats, because Hope was poking GB, and GB was getting in trouble for picking on “poor Hope”. When Hope complains GB did something to her, the first thing I ask her is what she did to GB. Usually, she tells me I don’t love her and walks away, arms folded. GB will tell me “I slugged her because she scratched my face, twisted my arm, dug her nails into my neck.” After the obligatory “In this house we keep our hands to ourselves”, I finally got smart and made Hope’s world smaller again. She has to be with me all the time, at least until she settles down again; a day, a week, a month, whatever. Winter clothes took care of (most) of the biting. Now I have to figure out a defense against spitting.

9 thoughts on “My Hope

  1. Defense on spitting….as soon as you've been spit upon can you immediately give her an enthusiastic "thank you" for letting me know you love me enough to swap spit with you and then promptly lick her forehead, arm, whatever…..????Just thinking out loud…sometimes that's a dangerous thing. 🙂

  2. My peanut tells me, "You are a mean mom that doesn't even love your child." when she's in one of her moods. It is hard not to laugh sometimes at the drama. Yes, because I refuse to say "gnome" incorrectly like you wat me to I am a mean mom and have no love for you. You figured it out. Hang in there! 🙂

  3. Has the therapist admitted that he/she got played? That would be important to me, for them to admit that they, a trained professional, were wrong, and that you, "just the mom" were right.

  4. You have so much patience in you. I would be tearing my hair out!!! My niece tried to spit on me once and it took everything I had to not scream nonsense at her. She is just a child anyhow. God speed!

  5. It's kind of frustrating when they use their "bright resources" to wreak havoc on the rest of the household instead of using it to do the school work or something positive. Still having that issue @ age 15! Not so cute anymore!

  6. I was going to give similar advice to Lisa regarding the spitting (I probably learned it from her). Basically thanking her for sharing an intimate part of herself, maybe commenting on it being almost as good as one of her kisses and rubbing it in as though she'd given you some of the finest lotion.Mary in TX

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