Today was the big day. Both girls did well. The Dad only had to remove Hope from the party once to talk her down. She truly enjoyed being the center of attention. GB and I spent the last day talking about the party and how it was Hope’s party and every thing should revolve around Hope. GB had a great time and let Hope be the center of attention. She didn’t lose it until we were home and everybody was moving to fast for her. No rage, but uncontrollable crying. I hugged her and told her how proud I was of how she let Hope be the center of attention.
GB is sporting a new haircut. She has been so fragile, the morning battles over hair were not worth fighting and she asked to get it cut. So I took her and she got what she wanted. She is worried about what her class will say on Monday. I told she was beautiful and if she liked her hair, that was what counted.
Hope was on a birthday high. We went out to dinner with friends and their daughters. Hope held it together through dinner and then lost it. The different perspective came from being in a public place and getting to watch the Dad handle it. He tried to sit her next to him and she fought him off, followed by loud screaming. He took her out of the restaurant. Five minutes later, he texted me to bring their coats out. They were sitting on a bench in front of the restaurant, with Hope still screaming and trying to get away. The Dad knew Hope was not calming down and said he was taking her to the car. 15 minutes later, the Dad called to say Hope threw up all over herself and could I bring him something to clean her up. I brought paper towels out to the car (from now on I will leave a roll), and heard Hope still screaming when I was still some distance from the car. I went back inside, asked for the Dad’s dessert to go, and urged everyone else to finish up. Just as everyone was finishing up, maybe 10 minutes later, Hope and her Dad came back in. The waitress quickly got ice cream and balloons for Hope and most people in the restaurant sang Happy Birthday to her. She looked dazed and stunned and we got out of there as quickly as we could. As I watched this meltdown from the perspective of a bystander, I noticed a couple of things:
- Meltdowns don’t seem nearly as long when you are not the one directly involved with them.
- Once Hope has lost it, there is no pulling her back… you just have to ride it out.
- It doesn’t take much for defiant, manipulative behavior to turn into a full blown rage.
- When it was over, the Dad was obviously tired. No wonder I am ready for bed as soon as Hope is asleep.
Hope tuns 5 years old 7days from today. Her party is on Saturday. She wanted a gymnastic one like her friend Mya. We are letting her have a scaled down version: my 2, my girlfriends 2, a little girl in GB’s class, a foster child who has been coming over to swim for years and we invited her 11 classmates. So far, 1 child from her class has accepted. Texas family sent blocks and want to talk to her on her birthday. We spoke to Hope’s therapist, who suggested we allow Hope the package and tell her who it is from, but as Hope never asks about them, she is not ready for the intimate contact of a phone call. I imagine that will not go over well.
Hope actually sat in the white chair without needing any physical help to get there. I know it was only once, but if it happened once. it could happen again.
I gave GB her PRN last night and she slept 11 solid hours. She had a much better day. The shrink also upped the lithium by 150 mg a day. I gave her the PRN again tonight, just to let her body catch up to her mania. We will try Friday without it, because she can sleep in Saturday.
After 5 days of GB taking 3+ hours to fall asleep and waking up multiple times during the night, I do not think this manic is going anywhere soon. I emailed the shrink (psychiatrist), reporting what was going on and saying we need a change in meds. I also have an appointment with a new shrink, about an hour away, this evening. The Dad and I are considering using her for both girls. She is associated with the therapist we are using for Hope. I think I want to get GB in with the therapist, also.
Hope is having mixed days with GB being manic. Currently, Hope mimics everything GB says and does. This makes Hope look, to the casual observer, manic. She also seems to resent any attention GB gets and works hard at being in the spot light.
The school wants to start mainstreaming her. They don’t get RAD. Time to reconvene the CSE. It gets so old after a while…
Yesterday was one of those rare days, where for a couple of hours, it was just Hope and I. We played games, without having a winner, we built with the Duplos for an hour, and played mermaids with what we built. We had a snack together and read a book. Hope turned on the TV, but then wandered over for a cuddle. Hope was pleasant and fun to be around. No accidents-on-purpose, no ugly-stupid-mommy. No quivering lip, no new bruises(on me). Hope even got to pick dinner. Sometimes things are just soooo good!
|Hope wants a hug!
We have now had Hope for seven weeks.
- She has an excellent therapist 🙂
- She is toilet trained 🙂
- Except when she doesn’t want to be 😦
- ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is out in full force 😦
- If I don’t take it personally, it is actually funny to watch her step over the line one teeny, tiny step at a time, waiting for a reaction. It can take her five minutes to exit the living room 🙂
- Take downs are getting to be routine, everyday events 😦
- The honeymoon at school is showing signs of ending ?
- Hope has the teacher falling for her manipulation, line, hook and sinker 😦
- We have two new fixations in the house *people are always stupid* and *I don’t care*itits 😦
- Hope allows some physical contact 🙂
- The deliberately spilling drinks and throwing food on the floor has made it to the *time-to-deal-with-this* list 🙂
- Hope can count out three of anything 🙂
Four months ago, we didn’t know Hope existed… we didn’t even know we were adding to our family.