We went to church today. I thought of staying home, as I was very sore from being beat up by Hope, but church is so ingrained into family life, that I felt it was part of keeping the kids on a normal routine. An hour into the service, I had just concluded going was a mistake and was gathering stuff up, getting ready to leave. One of the elderly ladies blacked out, The Dad ran to take care of her, dropping Hope on me. Hope flipped out. I took her out of the sanctuary and let her rage it out. I lightly stroked her arm, which changed her screams from “I want Daddy” to “Your hurting me! Stop!”. By the time she had calmed down, GB was leaving with MK, Booboo, and the baby, the ambulance was there and the Dad was going to the hospital with the elderly lady.
I took Hope home, mentally cataloging the new bruises. We always pass an ice cream place and I decided I could use some and also bought some for Hope. I thought of the long hours ahead and sighed. We got home to an empty house and that is when I realized the blessing. Hope and I had never been alone together, not once, not ever. She was stuck dealing with me. We did our attachment work with chocolate, we played games, we talked about the differences between her old family and this family, and we cuddled. Every once in a while, I would tell her it was cuddle time, take her on my lap, and tell her she had to stay there until she relaxed and let me snuggle her. And we succeeded every time, at least for a minute or two. I made more progress in that three hours then I had made to date. The elderly lady was admitted to the hospital and the Dad just got in. Some blessings are disguised as burdens. You have to take up the burdens to get the blessings.